I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
