Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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