The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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