'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
