She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
