i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
