sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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