im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
