U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think I died a long time ago.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
