Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
