Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
