you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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