at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
