is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
two words: eviction party
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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