I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
