Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
