This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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