Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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