Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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