So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
