i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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