Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
