Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
