thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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