These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
