don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
