Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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