So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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