There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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