I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
