Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
