forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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