Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
