Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
