y did u give ur computer a hand job?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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