so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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