Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We need to rekindle our bromance
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
