they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
YAS. BRING CRAB.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
