I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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