Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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