Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
