What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
My vagina is officially offended.
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