now i know why i became what i already was.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
