I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
