She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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