mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize