If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
