i just wanna soil my oats bro
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize
