let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
