Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Randomize
