Don't you send me to vm
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
