Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Be still, my beating vagina.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Randomize
