Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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