My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
