So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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