Grow some girl-balls and come out already
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
And then he peed in my hair
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