i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
