1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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