Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
