is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
