No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
