I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
