my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize