Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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