So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
