Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize