my mouth tastes like poor choices
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
