You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
