I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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