Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
