I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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