Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
