I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
