I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
